Promoted to Heaven

Kregg died in a hospice on June 16, 2011. Although he had many visitors everyday, he died alone. I know he wanted to be alone. He wouldn't have wanted anyone to see him go. He would have felt like that would have been a burden on someone. He never wanted to be a burden to anyone.
My brother Kevin prepared and presented a beautiful tribute as pastor and brother to Kregg at a graveside service the morning of Saturday, June 18th. Kregg was honored and buried by his family and close friends at Milton Fields in Milton, Georgia.
Kregg's battle with cancer required much faith and courage and he showed us just how much he had. He lived longer than any of the doctors anticipated. Today we will live our lives with memories of Kregg in our hearts and I pray all of us will have more faith and courage because of how he lived his life.

Written by my sister Kelly

So I took a few days to get away with the kids. I needed a break. I needed to take some time to breath and get some air. Many of you have asked how my brother Kregg is doing. He as you know was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer 2 years ago in July. He has fought hard. He has done everything the doctors asked him to do. But in March they finally said, there is nothing left ~ no medicine, no treatments, nothing can prolong the inevitable. The news came the day before his 52nd birthday. And so for the last few months he went home and has been living his life. Quietly and with far more contentment than I can guess I would have in the same situation. The week after Easter, his health started to really decline. A few weeks ago he entered hospice care. My 5 other brothers and sisters all gathered together on my birthday and we celebrated at the hospice. My sister Kim from Michigan was there. Kevin came from Tampa. It was a good night. Kregg smiled. He enjoyed the attention and the company. We talked. We laughed and at the end of the evening we stood in his room, held hands and my brother Kevin led us in prayer. I think . . . no I know it was the first time we ever prayed together (aside from our dinner time prayers of course ~ and even then I am not sure we were all ever together to do that). It was a sweet and wonderful evening. A gift I will always cherish. So now a few weeks later (that was May 23rd), Kregg has declined quite a bit. He is thin. No really really thin. He sleeps most of the time and doesn't speak a lot. He gets a significant amount of pain medicine and some days he doesn't even know who I am. It's been a few days since I have been there (I had endeavored to go every day, but finally realized, I can only do what I can do). So I took the time. I am thankful for my sister Sue who is here and who has been amazing in Kregg's journey. Tomorrow morning I will go back and see my brother. I don't know what I will find. I don't know if he will know I came. It doesn't matter really. I always go thinking it may be the last time. It is sad. But I know he is heading to a great place. He didn't live a life of grandeur here, but he will in Heaven. I don't know when God will bring him home, but in all honestly I hope it is sooner than later ~ for his sake. I will tell you, it is hard to watch. It is sad. It is so hard. It is an emotional roller coaster. But there is hope and I know it. And so does Kregg. I don't think he is worried about what will happen to him the second his heart stops beating. Do I think he wanted to die so young? You better believe he didn't. It is his story though and one we all have a part in. I tell you all of this not for your pity or sorrow. This journey has been a blessing in so many ways. I know Kregg would say that too. I tell you this to give you an update ~ because you wonder and you have asked. We have become a better and stronger family through this. I am so thankful to my parents who created an environment for 6 kids to work together for 1 - it has brought us closer. So in summary, please pray for Kregg - that his pain would be minimal. Pray for my parents. I can't comprehend how hard it would be to lose a child - no matter the age. Pray for Kregg and pray for all of us that we may continue to make the right choices regarding his care. Pray for my brother Kris, who is losing not only his brother but his very best friend in the world. Honestly, it is him who I worry about the most. But I know . . . God's ways are bigger. They are higher. He has a plan and I trust Him completely. I don't need to worry about my other brother. I need to trust in the one who created them both and loves them far more than I ever could. And I do. 

Hospice

Kim, Kris, Kregg, K. Sue, Kevin and Kelly
May 23, 2011
Hospice, Cumming, GA 

Happy Birthday

Tomorrow is Kregg's 52nd birthday. Today he returns to the doctor to hear if there are any more radiation or chemotherapy options for the new cancer they have found in his brain. It has been two years since his first diagnosis. He has done extremely well considering all the treatment he has had. He is able to live with my brother Kris and has been able to live his normal life. The survival rate for his type of cancer at two years is 30% so we feel extremely blessed that God has answered our prayers for protection and healing. He has a family that loves him and we believe that God is in control. This brings us much peace. We celebrate Kregg's birthday with much gratitude to God for his 52 years with us.

Opportunities and Choices

Thursday, December 16, 2010.  We arrived at "Radiology" right on time. The fish in the aquarium didn't notice the dark, cold, spitting rain we walked through to get to the warm hospital lobby.
Kregg checked in with the front desk. He showed the woman a piece of paper and told her he was supposed to get some kind of shot. She told him to take a seat and someone would be with him shortly.
He had sat in the lightly worn blue lobby chairs and waited before. He strolled over casually hoping that he wouldn't have to wait long. He didn't bother taking his hat or his coat off.
I sat down next to him and asked to see the piece of paper he had shown the woman upon arrival. He handed me the folded paper from the back pocket of his baggy wranglers. As I opened it, I could see it was given to him by Dr Reddy his oncologist. It had written on it that he had a consultation with Dr Park in Radiology on December 16th for an ablation. I didn't know what an ablation was, but I quickly looked it up using my iphone. Main Entry: a-'bla-shen. The process of ablating: surgical removal or by melting or vaporization. Kregg had told me that Dr Reddy said there had been a "spot" found on the cat scan in his abdomen area the week before and that he was going to recommend getting an ablation which was like getting a shot.
Hoping to prepare Kregg for a consultation and not a procedure, I told him that I did not think that he was going to be getting the shot today. I was sure since we had never met with this doctor before that the doctor would want to decide for himself if Kregg was a good
candidate for an ablation. Kregg was not happy to hear that he had to just come to the hospital to talk to another doctor. "Why can't they just give me the shot?" "Why do they have to always talk to me and have me fill out more paperwork?" I let him complain and carry on a few more minutes then I looked at him and said, "You don't have to do any of this. You don't have to have anything done. You have a choice." He was quiet and leaned back in his chair as he adjusted his hat on his head.
After a long wait, we saw Dr Park, the radiologist, and he explained to Kregg that he had a 3 cm tumor in his adrenal gland. The options were to do nothing; to freeze it; or to burn it. His recommendation was to freeze it which would require a procedure that would come with some, but little risk and an over night hospital stay.
Dr. Park said he could perform the procedure before or after Christmas. Kregg elected a date after Christmas. We left knowing that the doctor's office would call Kregg to confirm either
December 28th or December 29th for the procedure.
The morning took much longer than either of us expected and Kregg didn't get a shot, but got another opportunity to extend his life from a Radiologist with an offer to perform an ablation. At some point opportunities and options will run out for Kregg. I am thankful he has made the choice to accept the treatment. It reminded me that everyday each one of us has opportunities and choices to make. My hope is I am not too busy complaining about something and miss the opportunities God has planned for me along the way to enrich my life.

The Wait

Kregg has been through 6 weeks of whole brain radiation, 6 weeks of lung radiation, numerous rounds of chemotherapy and now is scheduled for gamma knife surgery on August 31st. We have met many excellent doctors, nurses, specialists and healthcare providers since Kregg was diagnosed July 10, 2009.  He has received treatment from - Northeast Georgia Medical Center, Northside Hospital Forsyth, St Joseph Hospital, North Georgia Radiation Center, and Spectrum Neurosurgical Specialists.  Because he can not drive, he has relied on his family and friends to take him to all of his appointments. Because he does not have an income, he has relied on our country's medicaid program for the cost of all treatment.
I am thankful for all the care, concern, and assistance that Kregg has received. He certainly is blessed. I remind him of this everytime we have to wait and we wait a lot. There is the wait for his name to be called, the wait for the nurse, the wait for the doctor, the wait for the phone call, the wait for the results, the wait is just part of the process. I have learned to wait...and I am thankful for learning that waiting is a blessing.

The Candles

As we gathered around the dinner table Christmas Eve, we lit a candle in rememberance of family and friends that God had chosen to be with Him this year. There was a candle for John's dad, David Neal Hurst who passed away on May 9th; a candle for Rod's father - James Earl Laughlin...who went quickly on May 14th; a candle for our 17 year old friend Erin Sullivan who on May 31st spent her last day on earth; and a candle for my sweet, sweet Grandma Edgcombe who went to heaven on June 20th just weeks before her 97th birthday.
The flames from the candles flickered and we drew comfort from the light as we remembered the lives and memories they represented. We rejoiced knowing that each one of our loved ones had been given the gift of eternal life based on their belief in Jesus Chirst as their savior.
After we finished our meal and the leftovers were put away, I made a point to tell Kregg that we did not want to light a candle for him next year. With much conviction he said, "Don't worry. I'll be here." His emphatic response surprised me a bit, but then I remembered Psalm 23:4 - " Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; and your rod and your staff, they comfort me."  Kregg demonstrates hope, courage, peace and faith through his journey with cancer...his shadow of death. Psalm 23:4 abounds with assurance of God's guidance and protection... not only for Kregg but for all of us.

Christmas Eve 2009, Kris Miller, Sue Hurst, Kelly Laughlin, and Kregg Miller