It's a girl... 5 pounds,10 ounces

Last week Kevin came up from Tampa to take Kregg to his chemo appointments. On one of their trips to the infusion center, Kevin asked Kregg if there was anything he had not done in life that he still wanted to do. Kregg thought for a minute and said, “No…I was hoping to catch the biggest fish this year and I did that last Tuesday.” He proceeded to tell Kevin how he had caught a 5 pound, 10 ounce bass in the pond behind their house. He was as proud as a father would be announcing the birth of a child.
On our way back to his house today from his doctor's appointment, I asked him if he had taken a picture of the fish he caught. He said he had and when we arrived back at the house he quickly went inside to show me the picture. I was on the deck when he brought out the 4 x 6 framed picture to share with me. In the picture, there was Kregg holding the fish.  I told him it was a great picture of him. He told me that he thought the fish was pregnant and that he had thrown it back in the pond after the picture was taken. I wanted to capture the pride I saw in his eyes as he talked.  Catching that 5 pound, 10 ounce girl fish filled him with pride and joy.
As I drove away, I thought about how proud I was of my brother. He wears his cancer well. He does not fear the disease or his unceartain future.  I am thankful I am his sister. I pray he has many more fish pictures to show me and many more fish stories to tell.

Lovable?

When Kregg was first diagnosed with cancer, I asked him if he knew that his family loved him. Without hesitation, he said "yes." I could tell by how quickly he answered that he was confident in knowing that we loved him.

Quite honestly, I had to ask him because over the years he has not been easy to love. For most of his adult life he has showed little interest in anything other than alcohol and tobacco. He has not cared for himself. At times he has been embarrassing and difficult to be around. None the less, we loved him and he knew we loved him.

This morning I realized that many of us are no different. We make it hard for others to love us by what we say and do...or by what we don't say or don't do. We also make it difficult for God to show us His love he has for us. We know God loves us and always will but we cause him pain because we wont let Him love us like he wants to love us. We keep at a distance. I know that God wants to pour His love on me. I want to be lovable. I don't want to miss the one true perfect love relationship God offers through his Son Jesus Christ. I want Kregg to know how much I love him and...of all things... cancer has allowed him to be more lovable.